The House of Hunt

A Day Of Mourning: Stavesacre has called it quits. Dirk posted this message yesterday on the band’s message board:

I’m sure you’ve all been wondering what is going on at the Stavesacre Foundation as of late. The fact of the matter is, Stavesacre as we know it, is done. There is no tragic “Behind the Music” story. We all love each other, and you, as much as we ever have. We just feel that after an incredible 11 year run, it is time to close this particular chapter in our rock and roll journey. You may be asking yourself “so what the heck have you guys been up to?” The answer is, trying to think of the best way to say “thank you” to all of you wonderful people that have been so good to us since the beginning. We have had countless conversations and have come up with a few ideas that we think will be the best bookend to our illustrious “career”. Everything is in an extremely embryonic stage at this point, but here’s the skinny: we will be writing and recording some new music with a very good friend of ours, Jeff Bellew. Jeff is obviously a huge part of the Stavesacre story and it just seems right to close the book with him back in the fold. We will also be compiling a career spanning DVD that will hopefully involve anyone who’s had anything to do with our band. All of this will culminate in a handful of shows to say goodbye. The 5 of us are incredibly excited and can’t wait for you to hear the rock. Sorry for the radio silence…more to come…

I have so many mixed emotions about this right now. Those of you who know me well know that I listen to a ton of different music. I’m constantly exploring the audio horizons. But Stavesacre is one of the few bands that I count at the top of my list of favorite groups of all time. Their music, Mark’s lyrics, their passion…all of it speaks directly to my soul. I’ll put it this way: what U2 is to most of the rest of the world (or at least Jonathan…haha), Stavesacre is to me. Their most recent album was phenomenal and I had high hopes about the potential for greater exposure and touring. But I also know from talking to Mark last year that they wanted to do things on their own terms at this point. I’m glad that they’re going to be putting out a little more music and another DVD before calling it a day. They are going to be sorely missed. Thanks guys, for everything.

As I rode to work this morning, I had the pleasure of being cut off by a massive pickup truck packed to the gills with ladders, workers, and a back bumper graced by the presence of, yes, you guessed it, truck balls. And as I cruised behind said truck, my eyes mesmerized by the swinging sack, I remembered seeing other “enhancements” on various vehicles the past few weeks that have given me pause to think and wonder, “What the H?”

Take for instance the bullet hole sticker.  Now I know that it’s cool and hip and awesome to be gangsta, but really people…the presence of these on your ride simply screams “GAY.” Who do you think you’re foolin’? We all see through that tough guy (or girl) facade. You want to be really hardcore? Try shooting your car up with real bullets…oh wait. That decreases the value doesn’t it? Well, I guess that’s one thing that your crappy stickers have in common with the real thing.

The second item is the tennis ball smashed so hard that it punctured your back window, yet didn’t shatter the entire pane. Very nice. Believe me, you’ve got everyone fooled into thinkin that your backhand rivals Boris Becker’s. And partially shattered car glass is so in…just like bullet holes. Hey guess what? April and I both have windshields with cracks and divots in them. Why don’t we trade? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Not so awesome when it’s real, eh? You freakin’ poseur. As a sidenote, I love verbiage on the page where I grabbed this image: “These look great on windows and parked car windows.” As opposed to moving car windows? What about the windows on the building where I work? They don’t look so good there?

And finally,  I don’t have an image for this last car eyesore, so you’ll just have to use your imagination. I recently saw a van with a beautiful variation on the whole “Baby On Board” signage. This one read: “Happy Breastfed Baby On Board.” I kid you not. Now, I’m not here to debate the pros and cons of breastfeeding babies. If you want to whip it out at any given moment to give Junior a suckle, that’s your business. Far be it from me to stop you. But to announce it on your car? Is that really necessary? Are you trying to get people to look as they pass by? Is nothing private any more? Maybe I should make a sign for my car that says “Wipes With Right Hand…Shakes With Left.” “Picks Nose, Not Friends.” “Happy Farter Onboard.” Would that make you happy breastfeeding lady?

And that my friends is what’s wrong with cars today. What ever happened to just giving your ride some sweet flames?

Dear readers,

I would like to introduce to you the newest member of the Hunt family. This little pooch is named Rocket and he will tear your face off. Don’t be fooled by his diminuitive stature or his quiet demeanor. Though he is only a mere 11 weeks old, his bloodlust is already insatiable. Within moments of bringing him home, he attacked a family of mourning doves, ripping them to shreds, entrails dripping from his puppy jowls. As you can see from the picture above, his demon eyes were glowing a hideous shade of blue for hours after his horrific repast.

Moments after this was taken, Rocket attacked the camera, thinking that it was trying steal his soul…or at least steal my dinner. We finally pried him off the lense a few hours later, but that camera will never be the same again.

So if you come to visit us, beware. We slake his thirst via ritual sacrifices so he won’t devour us in our sleep, but I can’t promise you safety. He’s just too wild and unpredictable. In short, we love him.

UPDATE:
Iain posted this picture in the comments, and it needs to be shared. He obviously has his spiritual goggles on and now has seen the truth about Rocket. BEWARE!!

Saw Ghost Rider last night with my beloved, Matt (who got us the advance passes), and Luke (a good friend from work).

Meh. Somewhere between The Punisher and Fantastic Four. Not awful. Not great. Just…meh. I liked Cage, Elliot, the western motifs, and the special effects. Story was so-so. Blackheart, the main bad guy? Horrible. Absolutely horrible. Emo boy on crack horrible…my daddy’s Satan and I hate him, blah blah blah. Cry me a river demon boy.

So yeah…still waiting on The Dark Knight to up the ante on the movie-inspired-by-a-comic-book genre. And possibly 300.

I just got this from my amazing wife for Valentine’s Day…and what a sweetass present. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that this is the greatest book ever written. Where else would you find cats, dogs, bugs resembling hulked-out mantises (mantisi?), and ginormous robots battling for control of the world? Where I say? I’ll tell you where: this book.

At turns hilarious, touching, and a bit gross, Gear is vintage Doug TenNapel. Literally. This is one of his first comic book projects. At any rate, it’s aged like a fine wine, because this one goes down smooth. Catscratch lovers will be delighted to see the origin of their beloved Gordon, Waffle, and Mr. Blik (aka Mr. Black). Robot lovers will be delighted to simply see massive robots tear up the landscape.

In closing, buy this. Now. You’re life will improve tenfold, your boss will give you a raise, and all the women of the world will flock to you as if you had sprayed 100 bottles of Axe deodorant on yourself. Yes. That’s what this book is: literary Axe spray.

If you don’t know the joy and wonder of Homestarrunner.com, for shame.

And if you don’t know the even joyer and wonderer of Teen Girl Squad from Homestarrunner.com, for shamer.

Go now to Vamlumtimes Day to edumacate yourself on the humorous stylings of the Bros. Chap. It’s a thing of true beauty.

You’re welcome.

Well I got my first hit due to the “obama antichrist” search term. Very exciting news. Any day now, the flood of hopefuls looking for prophecy about the coming of the apocalypse will unleash upon my website…and I shall point and laugh.

Then again, someone else found this place via the search term “jeremy hunt gay.” While the full repercussions of this have yet to sink in, I now fully expect the pointing and laughing to commence, aimed squarely at me. I have been hoisted upon my own petard.

Here’s what’s been on my radar lately:

LOST: It’s back with a vengeance. Last night’s episode was stellar. I can’t wait to see what the rest of the season will bring.

Maylene And The Sons Of Disaster: They released a new digital EP, “The Day Hell Broke Loose At Sicard Hollow,” on Tuesday and it is rockin’! Two new songs from their upcoming album and a b-side from their first one. I love me some southern-drenched hardcore and I cannot wait to hear the rest of the album.

Relient K: They too have a new album out soon. In a word? Fantastic. These guys have continually upped their game on each new record. If your first thought when you hear their name is “lame, cheesy Christian pop punk,” you need to check them out again. A lot has changed since their self-titled debut days.

POW!: I can’t say anything about POW! right now, but just you wait. There’s some cool POW! in store.

April: Call me cheesy, sappy, whipped, whatever, I don’t care. I am crazy about my wife. She is the coolest person I’ve ever known. We’re going out to a free chick flick tonight and I’m stoked simply because I know it’s something that she wants to see and that it will make her heart happy. And being able to do that for her makes me feel like a million bucks. Ain’t love grand?

So this post is basically an experiment inspired by my new bloggin’ buddy, Iain. In his most recent posting, he talked about how he got a lot of hits due to a post that led to a comments discussion wherein the words “Barack,” “Obama,” and  “Antichrist” showed up.  This led him to surmise (a hunch proven by his internal blogging stats) that a lot of people are searching for some combination of those three words, and thus are being led to his blog.

As soon as I realized this goldmine, I had to post. Given that my sole desire for this blog is the pursuit of daily hits (what, the total accessibility of my topics and musings didn’t give it away?), I have decided to sell-out to the masses and simply post terms here that will hopefully increase blog traffic ten-fold. I apologize in advance to my loyal readership who have heretofore trusted in me to bring them thoughts and humorous retorts that only a select few would understand. From henceforth, the lowest common denominator rules.

Herewith are my terms (and yes, the reference to “sexy” in the title is part of this new initiative):

Barack Obama Antichrist
George W. Bush Antichrist
Sex Britney Spears
Sexy Osama Bin Laden
Paris Hilton Revealed
Naked Aggression
War In Iraq
Kevin Federline Super Bowl Commercial
Handsome Peyton Manning
The Oscars Tonight
Stephen Colbert Truthiness In Reporting

And thus the great internet social experiment of February Aught-Seven commences. Hold on tight. I shall be sure to post the results soon. And to those of you who accidentally showed up here as a result of searching for any combination of those terms, HAH!! You got housed. That’s right…housed by The House of Hunt. (figured I needed to spell that last part out for the lowest common denominator)

By now, I’m sure you’ve all heard about the terror scare coming out of Boston over the past few days…all thanks to a bunch of light board cartoon characters popping up around the city. For the uninitiated, that little bugger is a Mooninite and he hails from the Adult Swim series, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I have no idea why he’s giving the proverbial finger to any and all on-comers, but I find it slightly amusing, given the crazy turn these events have taken.

In case you hadn’t heard the story, here’s the Cliffnotes version: Cartoon Network, in an effort to promote the upcoming ATHF movie, sent out a couple of guerrilla performance artists in Boston (and apparently there was a plan for more cities) with these light boards. The artists posted them around the city in random places…and through a bizarre series of events, the Boston authorities panicked, blew one of them up, confiscated the others and arrested the two artists.

Wow. My mind is stunned at the various possibilities. Do I mock everything and everyone involved? Do I simply point and laugh “haw haw” in my best Nelson impression? Do I revel in the brilliance that is this press conference footage with the two artist “suspects?”

Actually, I think I’ll go the “pontificate” route, as if any of you cared about what I have to say when I get serious. Ready? Here we go…

What the heck were they thinking? Lite Brite now equals bomb? How culturally unaware is our governmental structure? I’m not even trying to defend ATHF as a cartoon. The few times I’ve caught it on TV, I’ve cracked a smile, perhaps even chuckled. I don’t find it that funny and this is coming from a man who loves his humor grilled until non sequitur, with extra doses of randomness sprinkled on for good measure. I probably won’t see the movie when it’s in theaters, possibly not even when it comes out on DVD. I’ve read advance reviews from hardcore fans who say that it’s a total mindtrip of a movie…bizarre, disconnected and non-linear.

All of that’s beside the point. I just can’t believe we’ve gotten to the point where our automatic response to the unknown is to think “terrorism.” Remember that saying about how, “If the terrorists change our way of life, our way of thinking, they’ll have already won?” Well, this is what they were talking about. Guerrilla (or street or whatever you want to call it) art is a beautiful thing. It’s crazy, unpredictable, weird and thought-provoking. I love it. And I hope these artists get the best legal help possible. If this thing goes down against their favor, it’ll be a big blow against freedom of speech. I know I’m not one to randomly rant about this stuff, but think about it. If we’ve reached a point in our country where cartoons are considered dangerous (and maybe we’ve already passed it…remember the furor overseas over that Dutch newspaper cartoon of Muhammed?), what’s going to happen to truly deep and important stuff like the right to assemble? What if we want to talk about faith, politics, family, etc?

Perhaps it’s a bit of a jump from Mooninite cartoons to full-fledged censorship, but I’m not so sure. Time will tell I suppose. And honestly, if this is true to American form, this whole thing will be forgotten when it comes out next week that Hilary’s sleeping with Barack, Michael’s molested yet another kid in Neverland, or some other form of news nonsense that we addle ourselves with these days.

Oh and Boston artist dudes, please keep talking about 70s haircuts. Thank you.